


Someday: The Sea

by brave_as_bear



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Character Study??, Drabble, Gen, Internal Monologue, M/M, Songfic, can be read as just two dudes being pals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:13:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28597521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brave_as_bear/pseuds/brave_as_bear
Summary: MANGA SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 112Eren's internal thoughts during the fight between him, Armin, and Mikasa.
Relationships: Armin Arlert & Eren Yeager, Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager
Comments: 16
Kudos: 90





	Someday: The Sea

**Author's Note:**

> The song that inspired this fic is [It Took Me By Surprise](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEc8FJL9kHE) by Maria Mena
> 
> (also sorry if this sucks, i'm really not used to writing angst)
> 
> enjoy!

I have a reason.

I swear I do, to treat everyone I love, everyone who’s ever cared about me as an abomination. As nothing more than the bones and ash beneath my feet.

I need them to resent the very air I breathe, so that when the time comes they will not hesitate to do what needs to be done.

No man, woman, or child can stop the inevitable forward march of time and the story is ending soon. For all of us.

Given everything I’ve done; my plan to be the villain in their memories, the countless lives I’ve taken, the harsh words spat across tabletops, the clash of fists and ideals, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise, really, the hatred burning in your eyes. But there’s something else there as well. Something you always manage to keep despite how dire the situation is. Hope. 

I need to kill it before it gets out of hand.

I land another blow.

I sling another insult your way.

Forget the me that you knew. _Please,_ I’m begging you, it will make it easier for all of us if you do. 

The others have already given up trying to save me, _it’s your turn._

Hate me. Yes, just like that, look at me like I tore away everything you’ve ever known and loved and threw it’s remains back into your face, because that’s exactly what I’ve done. _God,_ this hurts, it hurts so fucking bad. 

But that’s just me being selfish again. I don’t deserve to whine and complain. I’ve already taken so much, I’ve already lost so much. One more person doesn’t matter. Shouldn’t matter.

But I just can't help it when it’s you.

I’ve pushed you too hard, no, not hard enough. There’s fear in your eyes when you look at me now, huh, that’s new.

A good kind of new. An improvement, I can use this.

Harder, I can push harder.

I get Mikasa involved, force you to choose. Me, the devil. Or her, someone who loves you (almost as much as I do).

There it is. They always say if looks could kill, but I’m thinking yours might really be the death of me, however, that would be a coward's way out, not something I can claim I'm worthy of.

So here we are, loathing and animosity dripping from your very being. Would you be able to do it?

Would you kill me when it comes down to it?

_Armin, it has to be_ _you._

Or would you choke, because it’s me, and become just another collateral victim of my mindless rampage.

Stop this, Armin. 

It needs to end.

So we can all rest.

Hate me. Hate me so much you could kill me. You have to.

Hate me so I can love you.

Sometime... in another life.

I’ll take you somewhere warm then. Maybe the beach.

You’ve always loved the sea.

**Author's Note:**

> ah! i really hope you enjoyed, concrit is welcome and appreciated as well as just regular comments! they help me further myself as an author and make better content for people like you!!


End file.
